Marriage Retreat

Once again we are going on a marriage retreat! We like going on these. Even after nearly 15 years marriage we still learn things about each other or come to an understanding of why we sometimes do things. Our first one we got to go to a little town German, the second was Myrtle Beach and this time we're going to Breckenridge, CO. Our Chaplains put these together for military members. Some have a target group, some don't. The trip for us is paid for with funds that the Chaplains have. It's part of the services that provide. You can check with you're local church or community groups to see if they're offered. For the ones we've been on and this one some of the meals are provided and some you have to get on you're own (usually lunches). Childcare is provided during the conferences. Some have conferences that go for a few hours and give you a breaks in between for free time, others have one long conference then get done early in the day so you can have some free time. Each one that we've been to has had a different theme or lesson going on. We've really enjoyed them. For us the cost is minimal but the benefits are great. Check one out in you're area.

I know that there's some connotation to marriage retreats, thanks in part to movies. But the reality is that it's far from what the movies tend to portray. There's always the newly weds which you can pick out as soon as you see them. Holding hands, their sides always touching, kissing when they think no one's looking. There's the one's who've been married for 25 or more years. He gets her coffee and doesn't bother asking if she even wants it or what to put in it, brings it to her and gently touches her back as he sits beside her. There's the couple who've been married for a few years and have their first little one. Their both laying with their heads on their arms trying to catch those extra few minutes of sleep that is sorely needed, until they hear the little one in the next room cry and they both jump up before they remember she/he's already being cared for. Then there's the couple like us. He still asks what she wants to drink, and you can see it on her face, "You would think he'd be able to remember." She ends up getting it because it's easier, and gets his. They'll hold hands or touch each others elbows together. But all in all it makes a great group. At first no one wants to share and by the end every one's laughing because of a story one person's told. New friendships are made and you always find something to take back with you. My advise is that everyone should try it at least once and see how they like it.

What a week!

Meetings, meeting and more meetings. The 15th of April was our 14th anniversary and I don't even really remember seeing the poor man. His work and my meetings kept us in and out at different times, but don't weep for us! This weekend we are on a marriage retreat at Myrtle Beach! Don't groan, it's nice. We get help remembering our "Love Languages", and the kids get to play in a big room with all kinds of wonderful things, and other kids.

The chaplain takes us through the book and helps us find our personal love language as well as our spouses. Then helps us remember how we use to just do that right things to help boost the other. Most of us call it the honeymoon stage. You know when just know what the other person needs. Well then comes kids, bills, reality. That's when you forget to tell your spouse, "the kitchen looks nice", because she needs words of affirmation. Or in my case that honey-do-list that's longer than your arm is really the acts of service that fill me. My list seems much longer these days since he isn't around as much because of his work. Hand holding for him seems out too since uniforms and regulations don't permit his need for physical touches. Older doesn't always mean wiser. I forgot go watch for that one moment when every eye is turned just to touch pinkies. For him, he remembered that something as simple as putting away the clean socks is much more than a gopher drill.

This is just our first day, we still have half a day on Saturday then we'll be free for a family adventure at MagiQuest!

Until then check out the 30 second assessment and see what you come up with. The book has a much longer profile finder and explanation. But maybe you'll remember to to leave that sticky note on your honey's mirror to find in the morning, just like you use to do. Marriage isn't always easy, sometimes it take work!