Marriage Retreat

Once again we are going on a marriage retreat! We like going on these. Even after nearly 15 years marriage we still learn things about each other or come to an understanding of why we sometimes do things. Our first one we got to go to a little town German, the second was Myrtle Beach and this time we're going to Breckenridge, CO. Our Chaplains put these together for military members. Some have a target group, some don't. The trip for us is paid for with funds that the Chaplains have. It's part of the services that provide. You can check with you're local church or community groups to see if they're offered. For the ones we've been on and this one some of the meals are provided and some you have to get on you're own (usually lunches). Childcare is provided during the conferences. Some have conferences that go for a few hours and give you a breaks in between for free time, others have one long conference then get done early in the day so you can have some free time. Each one that we've been to has had a different theme or lesson going on. We've really enjoyed them. For us the cost is minimal but the benefits are great. Check one out in you're area.

I know that there's some connotation to marriage retreats, thanks in part to movies. But the reality is that it's far from what the movies tend to portray. There's always the newly weds which you can pick out as soon as you see them. Holding hands, their sides always touching, kissing when they think no one's looking. There's the one's who've been married for 25 or more years. He gets her coffee and doesn't bother asking if she even wants it or what to put in it, brings it to her and gently touches her back as he sits beside her. There's the couple who've been married for a few years and have their first little one. Their both laying with their heads on their arms trying to catch those extra few minutes of sleep that is sorely needed, until they hear the little one in the next room cry and they both jump up before they remember she/he's already being cared for. Then there's the couple like us. He still asks what she wants to drink, and you can see it on her face, "You would think he'd be able to remember." She ends up getting it because it's easier, and gets his. They'll hold hands or touch each others elbows together. But all in all it makes a great group. At first no one wants to share and by the end every one's laughing because of a story one person's told. New friendships are made and you always find something to take back with you. My advise is that everyone should try it at least once and see how they like it.

Yes, I'm on the box!

"What about their socialization skills?"

"They just won't be able to fit in later."

"How will they know what they want to do later in life?"

"They need to know that not everyone likes them."

"How will they learn to make friends?"

"How will they learn to work with other people?"

"What about sports?"

"If only you teach them, how will they learn to take tests?"

"What do you mean you only use encyclopedias? What about text books? How are they suppose to learn about the real world with only encyclopedias?"

Okay so I could go on further, but I won't. I've personally heard these and more. Many of you share some of the questions you get. For us in the home schooling community the answers are a bit obvious. Many times I wonder why it is I have to be the one to educate people on the realities of home schooling. Is it easy? Sometimes, sometimes not. Is it fun? Sometimes, sometimes not. I don't mind answering these. Don't mind sharing what we use or what we do. I do mind the negative questions, and the questions that weren't even thought about before they were asked. Why can't people pick up a book, look online, join a chat or any other way that we (homeschoolers) if they're really that curious? Or at least think about what comes out of their mouths? I do it all the time. When working on animal reproduction in science I read the encyclopedias to make sure that it would be appropriate for a 6 and 8 year old. I read books for three weeks to find ones that would allow for the girls to learn animal reproduction that was appropriate for their ages and learning levels. Then had to reread it all over again when we actually did the lessons. It's what you do especially if you choose to do classical education like we have. And yet for some reason there are people out there that can't seem to pick up a book to simply learn actual facts for themselves.

Maybe it's because we just found out that once again around Christmas time we will be moving. I don't really know but at the moment the million common sense questions seem to be frying my nerves. Thankfully though I have family who are understanding and don't ask the questions because they've managed to pickup books all on their own. Some like my brother and sister-in-law have chosen to home school themselves. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Normally I'm one of those that really just doesn't give a flying flip what someone thinks about me. I'm happy and so is my family, so to me that's what counts. The change in my children has been wonderful since we choose to do their education ourselves. It could be that my littlest one is wanting to go back to school again, and I quote her here, "So I can play more instead of all the work." I think most of it is she can't simply hide in the middle of a class anymore. We've been struggling to unlearn pictorial reading that was taught to her in the classroom and learn the phonics that she needs to know. I know that I won't go back to having a little girl come home crying anymore because she's been told to quit asking so many questions and to sit and be quiet. Maybe one day they will go back to public school, maybe they won't. We take it one day at a time, and one year at a time. Nothing is set in stone. What we feel is the best option for our children is how we make our decisions regarding school, food, socialization, and every other facet of their lives. The same as every other parent on the planet. Are we perfect? I certainly hope not! I hope that my children see that we love them and are trying to make the best decisions we can, so that they can learn to do the same.

With us moving I've been trying to find out the laws in the new state that we'll be going to and trying to prepare for that. But in doing so I found a study that HSLDA asked Dr. Brian Ray to do in 2003. Dr. Brian Ray is the president of the National Home Education Research Institute. This study was to see what happens to homeschoolers after "school". Did they continue their education? Did they work? Did they fit in to society like public school children? Like most studies I remind you to take into account that the individuals involved probably started out with a bias as to the hopes of it's outcome. Simply add it to what you already know and draw you're own conclusions. I prefer to look at the actual data found and not the results written by those who do the study. In the hopes of not clouding my own opinions. I do hope that you find it enlightening though.

Okay thank you for listening to my vent. I'll be happy to pass of the soap box now.